Dedicated To All The Porn Actresses Who Caught HIV, Died From Drug Overdose And Committed Suicide.
Sex-packed porn films featuring freshly-dyed blondes whose evocative
eyes say "I want you" is quite possibly one of the greatest deceptions
of all time. Trust me, I know. I did it all the time and I did it for
the lust of power and the love of money. I never liked sex. I never
wanted sex, and in fact I was more apt to spend time with Jack Daniels
than some of the studs I was paid to "fake it" with. That's right,
none of us freshly-dyed blondes like doing porn. In fact, we hate it.
We hate being touched by strangers who care nothing about us. We hate
being degraded with their foul smells and sweaty bodies. Some women
hate it so much they can be heard vomiting in the bathroom between
scenes. Others can be found outside smoking an endless chain of
Marlboro lights…
But the porn industry wants YOU to think we porn actresses love sex.
They want you to think we enjoy being degraded by all kinds of
repulsive acts. The truth, porn actresses have showed up on the set
not knowing about certain requirements and were told by porn producers
to do it or leave without being paid. Work or never work again. Yes,
we made the choice. Some of us needed the money. But we were
manipulated and coerced and even threatened. Some of us caught HIV as
a result of that coercion. I personally caught Herpes, a non-curable
sexually transmitted disease. Another porn actress went home after a
long night of numbing her pain and put a pistol to her head and pulled
the trigger. Now she's dead.
It's safe to say most women who turn to porn acting as a money-making
enterprise, probably didn't grow up in healthy childhoods either.
Indeed, many actresses admit they've experienced sexual abuse,
physical abuse, verbal abuse and neglect by parents. Some were raped
by relatives and molested by neighbors. When we were little girls we
too wanted to play with dollies and be mommies, not have big scary men
get on top of us. So we were taught at a young age that sex made us
valuable. The same horrible violations we experienced then, we relive
as we perform our tricks in front of the camera. And we hate every
minute of it. We're traumatized girls living on anti-depressants,
drugs and alcohol acting out our pain in front of you who continue to
abuse us.
As we continue to traumatize ourselves by making more adult films, we
use more and more drugs and alcohol. We live in constant fear of
catching AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases. Every time there's an
HIV scare we race to the nearest clinic for an emergency checkup.
Pornographers insist on giving viewers the fantasy sex they demand all
the while sacrificing the very ones who make it happen. In other
words, no condoms allowed. Herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, and
other diseases are the normal anxieties we walk around with daily. We
get tested monthly but we know testing isn't prevention. Besides
worrying about catching diseases from porn sex, there are other
harmful activities we engage in that are also very dangerous. Some of
us have had physical tearing and damage to internal body parts.
When porn actresses call it a day and head home we attempt to have
normal healthy relationships, but some of our boyfriends get jealous
and physically abuse us. So instead we marry our porn directors, while
others prefer lesbian relationships. It's a real memory making moment
when our daughter accidentally walks out and sees mommy kissing
another girl. My daughter will vouch for that one.
On our days off we walk around like zombies with a beer in one hand
and a shot of whiskey in the other. We aren't up to cleaning so we
live in filth most of the time, or we hire a sweet foreign lady to
come in and clean up our mess. Porn actresses aren't the best cooks
either. Ordering in is normal for us and most of the time we throw up
after we eat because we're bulimic.
For porn actresses who have children, we are the world's worst
mothers. We yell and scream and hit our kids for no reason. Most of
the time we are intoxicated or high, and our four year olds are the
ones picking us up off the floor. When clients come over for sex, we
lock our children in their rooms and tell them to be quiet. I used to
give my daughter a beeper and tell her to wait at the park until I was
finished.
The truth is there is no fantasy in porn. It's all a lie. A closer
look into the scenes of a porn star's life will show you a movie that
the porn industry doesn't want you to see. The real truth is we porn
actresses want to end the shame and trauma of our lives but we can't
do it alone. We need you men to fight for our freedom and give us back
our honor. We want you throw out our movies and help piece together
the shattered fragments of our lives. We need you to pray for us so
God will hear and repair our ruined lives.
Courtesy
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